Pasteurized prepared cheese product and you
This is the first time I’m writing about cheese, but you listen to me. It won’t be the last.
True story: It was late on a Saturday night and I had last-minute guests over at my house. And they were hungry. Quandary! All my kitchen had to offer was frozen broccoli and a bottle of gin. Luckily I was wearing my “WWMSD?” bracelet. (What would Martha Stewart Do?)
I’ll be honest, my friends actually rifled through the fridge until they hit the jackpot—24 individually wrapped slices of American cheese, “Kraft singles” if you will. I bought them back in March or April. (Don’t worry, they don’t expire until September.) And I don’t even eat American cheese, but my guests were happy, satiated and better looking after eating it.
So here’s the lesson I learned. It’s always good to have some American cheese on hand just in case you need it, like a first aid kit. In fact, you should keep American cheese in your first aid kit.
J. L. Kraft knew what he was doing. According to the Kraft Web site, he started selling cheese from a horse-drawn wagon in 1903. And thank God! His cheese has so many uses. Even if you don’t want to eat it, your friends with lower standards will enjoy it as a hearty meal. Kraft singles also serve as good bathroom tiles, coasters, soothing eye masks and so much more!
But why did I buy that cheese in the first place? Perhaps I was driven by mysterious forces in my subconscious, like a secret, burning desire to express my patriotism through dairy? No. It was something entirely different. Why else would I buy cheese I don’t even like unless it was destiny? Fate whispered in my ear that day at the grocery store. No, scratch that. The ghost of J.L. Kraft whispered in my ear that day at the grocery store.
The grocery store is haunted.
True story: It was late on a Saturday night and I had last-minute guests over at my house. And they were hungry. Quandary! All my kitchen had to offer was frozen broccoli and a bottle of gin. Luckily I was wearing my “WWMSD?” bracelet. (What would Martha Stewart Do?)
I’ll be honest, my friends actually rifled through the fridge until they hit the jackpot—24 individually wrapped slices of American cheese, “Kraft singles” if you will. I bought them back in March or April. (Don’t worry, they don’t expire until September.) And I don’t even eat American cheese, but my guests were happy, satiated and better looking after eating it.
So here’s the lesson I learned. It’s always good to have some American cheese on hand just in case you need it, like a first aid kit. In fact, you should keep American cheese in your first aid kit.
J. L. Kraft knew what he was doing. According to the Kraft Web site, he started selling cheese from a horse-drawn wagon in 1903. And thank God! His cheese has so many uses. Even if you don’t want to eat it, your friends with lower standards will enjoy it as a hearty meal. Kraft singles also serve as good bathroom tiles, coasters, soothing eye masks and so much more!
But why did I buy that cheese in the first place? Perhaps I was driven by mysterious forces in my subconscious, like a secret, burning desire to express my patriotism through dairy? No. It was something entirely different. Why else would I buy cheese I don’t even like unless it was destiny? Fate whispered in my ear that day at the grocery store. No, scratch that. The ghost of J.L. Kraft whispered in my ear that day at the grocery store.
The grocery store is haunted.
posted by Joanna at
1:02 AM
4 Comments:
When you fold it .... it breaks.
Cheeses are amazing!
However, without disturbing the ghost of J.L Kraft, I don’t think Kraft Singles technically qualify as “cheese” – although they are indeed a food item. I did a bit of research and found that the singles are actually a “Milk Protein Concentrate” product or MPC if you will. I became skeptical of their identity after being shown of their amazing adhesive characteristics.
At 6.8 billion pounds per year, the United States leads the world in cheese production.
At 43.6 pounds per person per year, France leads the world in cheese consumption.
It's a fact.
after a recent law suit, Kraft singles do not even fit under the FDA's definition of food.
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