For sale or runt

Candy has been an important part of my life recently.

Wrong.

Candy has ALWAYS BEEN an important part of my life.

Recently, though, I've the time and the capital to attain sugary confections whenever I please.

I've made it my business to always have candy, in some form, at my fingertips for at least 80 percent of my day. To you this may sound sad and unhealthy. It is.

Still, hours of candy shopping have resulted in distinct and meticulous taste. I prefer the "theater box candy," as many discount chain stores call them. These (at least) 7-ounce boxes last the better part of 10 days, depending on how many of my single-digit-aged relatives uninvitingly dispense a handful for themselves.

Yesterday I purchased a box like this of Wonka's Runts. The new flavors, pineapple and mango, intrigued me more than Madonna's deflating career.

Everyone knows the only good runts are the bananas and strawberries.

Disappointingly, I've discovered that's still the case.