donuts or particles from heaven

In my heart will always be a special place for donuts. Probably because not only are they delicious, they can also be worn as jewelry and strike fear in the hearts of calorie-conscious whorebags. (It's OK - I can say that because I'm a gender studies major.)

Never have I had an unsatisfying donut. But one nagging decision persists when faced with donut options:

yeast v. cake

I shall refrain from making a yeast infection joke at this time, ignoring my pretty recent development of a passion for inappropriate and mildly disgusting humor. I would hate to turn away readers with sensitive wombs but more importantly I would hate to divert anyone's attention from pondering the almighty donut, though I'm positive I've done that already with this paragraph of unbridled, inspired nonsense.

The way I see it:

Yeast donuts are favorable for consumption in the morning. Cake donuts are more suitable for an afternoon or evening dessert. They are cake, after all. I'll bet some very brilliant fatass chef just made his dessert circular with a hole in it one day, making it socially acceptable as a breakfast item. Then he probably went home for the evening to watch "Wheel of Fortune" with his 10-year-old son, Charlie, who'd gotten in a fight at school that day.

I don't belive that one donut type is inherently "better" than the other. I would make the claim, though, that those that aren't registered to vote are not adequately fulfilling their civic duty. Still, this does not make them less of a donut, it suggest only that they are ignorant or misguided.

Right now, I'm hungry for something doughy that I can also wear as a bracelet ...

so I'm going to Arby's.