The great ice cream taste-test-a-thon

Ice cream—man’s best friend, the final frontier, an army of one.

Show me a person who doesn’t like ice cream and I’ll show you a corpse. It’s a special treat (ice cream, not a corpse), and flavor is very important. That’s why, here at the flog, we went out and tasted the ice cream so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

Michelle and Joanna visited three ice cream-selling venues and evaluated the ice cream based purely on taste. We took into account the background sound at the time of tasting. (Because your sense of taste is affected by your sense of hearing. Or was that sense of smell? Whatever.) We also took into account the texture of the tasting spoons. At each venue Michelle tasted vanilla, Joanna tasted chocolate and then we sampled one “wild card” flavor.

Now follows our flavor findings:

Cold Stone Creamery
Background sound: “Shiny Happy People” by REM
Sample spoons: plastic

French Vanilla
Flavor: chalk, cereal-esque
Tastes like: the first day of 2^nd grade

Chocolate
Flavor: sweet
Tastes like: being lost in the desert

Bubble Gum
Flavor: maltodextrin, sucralose
Tastes like: being strangled by a clown (something some might enjoy in moderation)

Jiffy Treet
Background sound: “Woman Woman” by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap
Sample spoons: wood

We had some trouble with the wooden sample spoons. The wood tainted the flavor of the ice cream.

French Vanilla
Flavor: wood
Tastes like: Christmas Eve evenings after mass with the family in Pennsylvania with my dog Lucky sitting by the fire

Chocolate
Flavor: dark
Tastes like: a fist fight with a German

Green Tea
Flavor: not actually a food
Tastes like: good for cleaning out the colon

Bruster’s
Background sound: Traffic
Sample spoons: plastic

Vanilla
Flavor: vanilla
Tastes like: the free tooth brush from a trip to the dentist

Chocolate
Flavor: creamy
Tastes like: river rafting

Purple Dinosaur
Flavor: prehistoric, but in a good way
Tastes like: food dye