Happy Birthdanna, Joanna
It is indeed Joanna's seventh birthday. To celebrate her many years of social anxiety and unrestrained charm, I've scoured our food blog to present some of her most useful observations of food.
-No matter how delicious or precious the food/drink you are consuming may seem, licking it off the steering wheel while driving is always a bad idea.
-It’s always good to have some American cheese on hand just in case you need it, like a first aid kit. In fact, you should keep American cheese in your first aid kit.
-If you’re that worried about food contaminates, perhaps it’s time to purchase a hybrid car and hold free yoga classes inside of it for all the members of your farming commune.
-There simply isn't enough tryptophan in the turkey you ate for you to feel a drowsy effect. What you're experiencing is the drowsiness that comes from stuffing your face.
-Pour yourself a glass of half & half, add some ice cubes (or crushed if you prefer), and I assume you’ve made ice cream.
-If you’re craving something a toddler would eat, just ignore it. And go ingest something that a toddler doesn’t eat. Like strained peas or some scotch.
Joanna, these suggestions are 67 percent of the reason I love you, and the reason I would marry you if it were legal and if even the slightest whiff of sexual attraction existed between you and I.
Happy day of birth!
-No matter how delicious or precious the food/drink you are consuming may seem, licking it off the steering wheel while driving is always a bad idea.
-It’s always good to have some American cheese on hand just in case you need it, like a first aid kit. In fact, you should keep American cheese in your first aid kit.
-If you’re that worried about food contaminates, perhaps it’s time to purchase a hybrid car and hold free yoga classes inside of it for all the members of your farming commune.
-There simply isn't enough tryptophan in the turkey you ate for you to feel a drowsy effect. What you're experiencing is the drowsiness that comes from stuffing your face.
-Pour yourself a glass of half & half, add some ice cubes (or crushed if you prefer), and I assume you’ve made ice cream.
-If you’re craving something a toddler would eat, just ignore it. And go ingest something that a toddler doesn’t eat. Like strained peas or some scotch.
Joanna, these suggestions are 67 percent of the reason I love you, and the reason I would marry you if it were legal and if even the slightest whiff of sexual attraction existed between you and I.
Happy day of birth!
posted by Michelle at
7:44 PM
2 Comments:
you really think there's no sexual attraction between us????
Happy Birthday, Joanna! You should have told us, we could have serenaded you onstage yesterday. Wouldn't you just have loved that?
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