Soy meets girl

I don't look like the unibomber, I'm not a serial killer, I don't eat granola bars, I'm not in a cult, I don't wear festive head scarves, I don't dig through dumpsters (often), I've never tried "Tofurkey," I don't wear sandals in excess, I don’t have a tattoo of a unicorn jumping over Mother Earth, I’m not lactose intolerant, I'm not a vegan and I don’t have dreadlocks.

But I do drink soy milk.

Yowsa! Get back!

For some reason this blows peoples’ minds. You have to be a certain “kind” of person or have some sort of medical ailment or health philosophy to drink the soy. I don’t care about my health. (really! I don’t, I swear) I just like the taste.

And clearly I don’t drink it for my health because I usually drink the “very vanilla” flavor, marketed to children and loaded up with tons of sugar to cover up that disgusting soy milk taste.

Yes, I only drink the flavored kind. Regular soy milk? No, that stuff is nasty. Only weirdos like that crap.