Hands and foods to yourself

"It was really good," said Michelle, referring to a bastardization of foods.

You ever have those three people who can't keep their hands off each other? Whenever they're out of site for two seconds you have to shout, "Peron A, Person B, Person C-- Hand check!" This is what I'm reminded of when I think of Michelle's latest food choice.

It's called a Pepperoni Pizza Lean Pockets Sub. That's like three different foods. I simply cannot accept that. A pepperoni pizza is one thing. A sub is another thing. And a lean pocket is quite another, horrible, horrible thing. Why combine? It is wrong.

Pepperoni Pizza, Sub and Lean Pocket need to get a room and stop thrusting their twisted food menage a trois in my face.

"It only has 7 grams of fat!" Michelle said. She also said my use of the word "thrusting" makes her uncomfortable.