There'll be bluebirds over my Thanksgiving leftovers

Two days post Turkey Day and it's time to talk about leftovers. First I'll brief you on my family's Thanksgiving. But unlike Michelle, I won't include filthy lies. I know the flog readers aren't impressed by how many species of dog my family ingests during the holidays. After handing out the small pox blankets we ate the following:

turkey
stuffing
yams
mashed potatoes
green bean casserole
noodles
a canned cranberry log (why, God, why?!?!?!??!)
rolls

I feel like I'm forgetting something. Oh yes, Cool Whip. I think there might've been pumpkin pie under there somewhere, but who really knows for sure?

Speaking of filthy lies, I'm so utterly sick of people blaming post-turkey consumption sleepiness on tryptophan. There simply isn't enough tryptophan in the turkey you ate for you to feel a drowsy effect. What you're experiencing is the drowsiness that comes from stuffing your face. (Can I get a what-what?)

Anyway, back to the leftovers. Many people like to recreate their Thanksgiving feast by eating the same foods again and reheating them in the microwave and imagining that the magic isn't gone. That's cheating. Leftovers should be eaten cold. Remember, a monkey wearing a suit is still a monkey.