light, fluffy bowels
I think it is appropriate - not disgusting or crude - to discuss bowel regularity in public spaces. It's an occurrence essential to the health maintenance of all human beings, after all.
This year, with the help of my very beautiful mother, I discovered Kashi products. You know. I still feel weird about name-dropping brands without being compensated, but F it, this is is worth it (the F is short for the word "fuck," by the way.)
Kashi products are a Nascar fan's health foods. They don't taste (too much) like sawdust or barbecued carpet and they're available in Krogers and Targets.
Among my favorites are:
TLC (tasty little chewies): these are just granola bars in spite of its very provocative name.
Waffles: this is a batter-based food item typically had for breakfast with a pattern of deep indentations of each side, formed by the gridlike design on each of the two hinged parts of the waffle iron in which the cake is baked. The Kashi waffles, unlike Eggo, have fiber and protein and things that will make a person not hungry one half hour after consumption. These waffles served as my breakfast for 80 percent of the summer months.
Crackers: crackers, a health food? HOW ABOUT YES. The Kashi crackers have lots of fiber. Fiber Fiber Fiber. Duck poop.
The obvious theme here is that fiber - a substantial amount of which is in all Kashi products - not only keeps one feeling satisfied (with regards to hunger for food - not for men), but also promotes giant, smelly bowels.
Eat Kashi!
Have a beautiful bowel. And day.
Editors note:
Dear Kashi reps,
If you're interested in compensating me for this uncalled-for RAVE review of your products, please e-mail me at thisisafoodblog@gmail.com.
Are you single?
Best,
Michelle
This year, with the help of my very beautiful mother, I discovered Kashi products. You know. I still feel weird about name-dropping brands without being compensated, but F it, this is is worth it (the F is short for the word "fuck," by the way.)
Kashi products are a Nascar fan's health foods. They don't taste (too much) like sawdust or barbecued carpet and they're available in Krogers and Targets.
Among my favorites are:
TLC (tasty little chewies): these are just granola bars in spite of its very provocative name.
Waffles: this is a batter-based food item typically had for breakfast with a pattern of deep indentations of each side, formed by the gridlike design on each of the two hinged parts of the waffle iron in which the cake is baked. The Kashi waffles, unlike Eggo, have fiber and protein and things that will make a person not hungry one half hour after consumption. These waffles served as my breakfast for 80 percent of the summer months.
Crackers: crackers, a health food? HOW ABOUT YES. The Kashi crackers have lots of fiber. Fiber Fiber Fiber. Duck poop.
The obvious theme here is that fiber - a substantial amount of which is in all Kashi products - not only keeps one feeling satisfied (with regards to hunger for food - not for men), but also promotes giant, smelly bowels.
Eat Kashi!
Have a beautiful bowel. And day.
Editors note:
Dear Kashi reps,
If you're interested in compensating me for this uncalled-for RAVE review of your products, please e-mail me at thisisafoodblog@gmail.com.
Are you single?
Best,
Michelle
posted by Michelle at
9:59 AM
3 Comments:
This post really stinks.
This post really stinks.
Dear Michelle,
I so love your column - your health tips on fiber filled colons make this Registered Nurse cry in delight. However, I must point out that you have missed perhaps Kashi's greatest accomplishment. THE FROZEN MEAL. These frozen nuggets of fiber have literally changed my lunch time habits, and in turn have helped my "daily habit" (if you catch my drift, which I know you do). Full of barley, fiber, and frozen meat that really tastes like meat - I highly recommend these frosty treats. Ask your grocery store frozen foods manager about them today.
Regards,
Amy Crawford RN
Proud sister of the author of "light, fluffy bowels"
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