The egg: he’s always been there for you. You just didn’t notice UNTIL NOW

An egg, to me, is like that dude in a “chick flick.” He’s the dorky less desirable guy that the heroine doesn’t realize is the perfect mate until the end. Like Mark Ruffalo in 13 Going on 30 or Colin Firth in Bridget Jone’s Diary or that guy from The Princess Diaries who’s name I can’t remember/never knew.

An egg doesn’t really stand out from the crowd or hold its own like a juicy steak or a pit fire roasted boar. And in all honesty it doesn’t make you mix tapes or provide emotional support either. However, what would breakfast be without the egg? A horrible, empty meal of despair they’d call despairfast. That’s what.

And without eggs, how would dinosaurs be born? And what would go on my fried egg sandwich? And deviled eggs. Are amazing. As a 7-year-old at large family holiday dinners everyone was reminded to get an egg before I ate them all.

I always regret not going with Egg to the prom. I turned him down because I was holding out for the most popular guy in school to ask me (a pit fire roasted boar). And as I sat on my stoop on prom night, covered in hairspray and sequins, and watched the popular kids drive by laughing in their limo, Egg was there.

I didn’t get to grind up on my classmates to Fat Joe’s “Lean Back,” but I had a mighty tasty omelet.

And if you’ve never seen this flash cartoon, omg you need to.